Such a nuisance!
Our house is under siege, by at least 30 alley cats. We can’t seem to get rid of them, mainly because… we keep feeding them.

Don’t get me wrong! I have absolutely no qualms about kicking ass when I open my frontdoor… to… uh, boldly go where no man has dared to go before; no sir, I don’t give a cat’s ass!
But then, after I’ve won another battle and lean exhausted against the inside of the door, remorse creeps in and I usually throw a handful of brekkies in the surprised faces of the “defeated” feline troublemakers.

The spoilt brats… uhh, cats inside the house totally approve of my defensive strategies, but are not at all amused by my altruism at the cost of their ration. They look up at me, from their soft cushions, as if they want to say: “What the f… you think you’re doing!? That’s our grub!”
Well, tough!